


Peter’s Aid

by marin27



Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe, Spider-Man: Homecoming (2017), The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Angst, Avengers: Endgame (Movie) Spoilers, Gen, Peter Benjamin Parker Needs a Hug, Peter Needs a Hug, Peter Parker Needs a Hug, Post-Avengers: Endgame (Movie), Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-05-06
Updated: 2019-05-06
Packaged: 2020-02-27 07:02:05
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,133
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18734011
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/marin27/pseuds/marin27
Summary: Endgame Spoilers.Peter's hurting. And the only thing to take away that pain isn't here anymore.Disclaimer: I wrote this 10 minutes after watching the Far From Home trailer. And finished it in 30 minutes. Haven't edited it yet and I don't have a beta, so let me know if you see any mistakes.





	Peter’s Aid

**Author's Note:**

> I was supposed to be doing homework and because of far from home feels, this is made instead. So here's my pile of trash and emotions. You can find the fic on tumblr as well.

It hurts.

 

_God, it hurts._

 

Peter’s hands are pressed into his eye sockets, wanting the burn of his tears to go away; the hollow ache that buries itself so deep into Peter he wants to claw it out; the heart stabbing pain he feels every time something reminds Peter of _him_ ; the trembling in his fingers and hands every time he sees the burnt skin, _the smell of charred flesh–_

His eyes snap open, a wrenching sob crawling from his sore throat. Tears spill over–

 

_I just wanted to be like you._

 

_And I wanted you to be better._

 

The feeling of strong steady hands patting him on the back—whenever Tony is impressed and wants to show affection but doesn't know how to—stretches across his skin and Peter just wants this suit _off_.

 

_I don’t wanna go, sir, please. Please, I don’t wanna go, I don’t wanna go._

 

_You’re alright…_

 

Peter hastily grabs his mask on the floor, discarded after a night of patrolling. A night of patrolling that consisted of constantly seeing those murals dedicated to the gold and red savior of the universe. He slips it on, not caring about the tears that keep on rolling down his cheeks.

 

“K-Karen. Plea-Please play the message again.”

 

“Peter I don’t think that’s a go–“

 

“Karen! _Please_.” He lets out another body wracking sob. Karen is silent. Silence is bad. Too much silence and he’s brought back to—

 

_The blinding light was the first sign that Peter knew something was wrong. His spider senses were acting off, going wild in his head and setting off all the wrong alarms._

_That’s when he sees a crowd around where he last saw Tony. And he feels his heart sink._

 

“Peter! Peter! You’re having a panic attac–“

 

_Mr Stark?_

 

_He-Hey, Mr Stark._

 

_Can you hear me? It’s Peter._

 

_We won, Mr Stark. We won, Mr Stark._

 

_We won, sir. You did it, you did it._

 

_I’m sorry, Tony._

 

_He feels like he can’t breathe. Like he’s drowning in a dense liquid that stops him from trying to float, or move up just to take a deep breath of air and Peter is going deeper, deeper and deep–_

 

 

“Hey, kid.”

 

 

He takes in a loud gasping breath, and suddenly it’s like he can breathe again, the weight lifted off his lungs which start to fill up with air. The soft curl of Tony’s voice is welcomed, the comfort that immediately washes over him in waves. He knows that it's wrong, that he shouldn’t ever use the recording as a way to temporarily fix his grief. To pretend that he's still alive and breathing. But he has to, Peter has to. Because it’s the only thing that takes away the pain, even if only for a brief period of time.

 

“I’m pretty sure by now you know the drill. The ‘if you receive this message I’ve probably had my untimely death’ and yadda yadda yadda.”

 

Peter can breathe now, hiccups making its way out of his mouth instead of the sobs. The hollow ache becomes a little shallow, the heart stabbing pain slightly ebbing away. He can feel his throat loosen up and relax, after the minutes of harsh crying.

 

“I guess I’m supposed to give some life changing advice or a secret I’ve kept from you all this time...

 

"For a second, I was thinking of making a Darth Vader reference but then I thought even that’s too much for dear ol’ me." 

 

Peter’s heartrate eases, and slowly, the tension in his muscles release. He can finally see through the tears.

 

“Not that I don’t have advice, of course, but I think you’ll manage just fine without it.”

 

There is a pause, just the sound of Tony’s breathing for a few moments. Peter can finally start to hear his own thoughts, instead of the raging emotions inside of him just now.

 

“I had speeches prepared for the other messages. But… I don’t know… still not sure on what I’m supposed to say to a fifteen year old kid.”

 

A sharp intake of air.

 

“T-Technically, twenty year old, right? Wow. Time… flies.”

 

Peter’s hands curl into his bedsheets, the suit he’s still wearing still feeling heavy on his skin.

 

“I mean, for the advice. Like I said, I know you’d be able to manage without me, kid. I mean, that’s your whole shtick, right? You turned down being an Avenger to help the little guy, which by the way was a real offer. Just realised I haven’t actually told you that yet.”

 

Tony laughs, that high pitched laugh that is so genuine, the laugh that Peter can count how many times he’s heard it on one hand. And Peter can’t help but form a shaky smile.

 

“But I mean it. When you’re old enough, when you’re here and ready to face the world again as Spider-Man, you’re going to do amazing. You’re going to stun the world.

 

“You’re fifteen and you stopped an entire weapons trafficking ring, preventing an airplane from crashing. You stopped robberies, saved lives and help old ladies cross the streets. You're so good, Peter. You really are. It's such a miracle a kid like you even exists... You went to space and you–“

 

A choking sound cuts him off, and somehow Peter can imagine the look on his face. The same look Tony gave him when they reunited on that battlefield.

 

There’s a long pause of silence, rustling and a sniffle. The next time he talks, Tony’s voice raspy, it’s echoing in Peter’s head as he hears the message for the fifteenth time.

 

“You’re going to be the _best_ of us, kid. That’s what I’m guaranteeing right now. I don’t doubt for a second that you’ll be the best Avenger we’ll ever have.”

 

And Peter braces himself for the last words, knowing exactly how it ends.

 

“I believe in you, kid.”

 

And Peter cries. Cries harder than the last time he did this. A few minutes pass, and slowly his sobs quieten down. The tremors that take over his body going away. He takes off the mask, staring at the ceiling, his hand wiping away the tears and snot.

He turns to his side and closes his eyes. Instead of the pain, there is just an empty feeling of calm. Which gives him the energy to take off his suit, remove the chip that contains Tony’s message from his mask and carefully keep it in a box. He settles back into his twin bed, his pillow feeling a little damp from his tears. But he doesn’t cry anymore.

 

He doesn’t feel the pain, the tears stinging his eyes, or the trembling that comes along.

 

Now, Peter is at peace. And as much as it hurts to think so, he hopes Tony is too.


End file.
